Alexander and a new year.

My 2013 is starting off a little bit shaky. Probably still not gotten everything back to place after the new years celebration or from the last semester as I’m constantly tired and thirsty. But I have a feeling that not only this week but also the up coming months will be a bit shaky, with school, work and my personal life…

Alexander Lee Eusebio created his own YouTube channel! He is just saying hello in his first videomessage and I’m not sure but I think he has also had his part of shaky months in his life… It is hard to tell if the video message is something to be happy or sad over, I’m constantly changing my mind regarding this. He looks small and grown upp at the same time.

What will happen next?

The Future is Idol- L

Another track from that very complicated group.

I have had my ups and downs with U-kiss over these last few years. I fell in love with their quirky sides, variety shows and extreme coreographys(crazy ass). It felt like they hand no boundaries and could say anything, and those kind of idols seem to be of my preference, the crazy ones. I also fell out of love with them as Alexander Eusebio, my favourite member, was kicked out of the group together with member Kibum. And as for being the grown man I am, this is the group that really made me realize how far my fandom and the feelings connected to it had gone. The creation of a fanboy perhaps. The anger, tears and time spent on the evil bastards of NH Media and the atermath of it all… I decided back then, when Alexander left the group, to never listen to them again. That did not work out well for me…

Kevin, my other favourite was still in the group, so talented it is hard to keep away from. To see him evolve over the past few years has been worth the watching, and most of their later releases are far better then everything released before the member-change. Neverland was awesome, and Obsession became a huge obsession. The recently released Stop Girl turned out to be a new top favourite from 2012 and then there is the melancholy of this track:

I kind of need them to sound desperate and sad from time to time. This helps.

And does not mean I accept all the current members of U-kiss. But I won’t tell which ones I don’t.

The Future is Idol – L

A grown man

Alexander Eusebio went to Malaysia with Brian Joo and 3rd Wave Music the other day. And suddenly he is back in the spotlight. I’m not that fond of the christian music project thing they are involved in, but looking back, it was probably the best thing that could happen to Alexander when getting kicked out of U-kiss.

It is a mature and serious version of Alexander that appears in front of us. The version who could be found even during his days with U-kiss but often disappeared under all the sillieness. Maybe he is also a bit cautious nowadays as he is burnt by experience. But it’s almost as if he wants to emphasize, quoting a line from old U-kiss track Not Young: “I’m a grown man”. And actually, I really hope that he will keep this image. Serious, fun and unique as almost no one else. Solo activities in Korea this winter, strange to imagine.

Parts of this vid is in english, so be patient. More to watch on YouTube.

/The Future is Idol

Obsession – and an obvious sense of guilt.

To be honest, I kind of gave up on this album even before it was released weeks ago.

After the dark winter and spring concerning U-kiss and my absurd loyalty towards them, or rather towards the fired member Alexander, I have not exactly been keen on updating around their whereabouts. I kept following Alexander, and in some aspects Kibum who is in the same position, even though he was never a favourite of mine.

I also kept thinking about what it must have felt like for the guys to be kicked out in a very harsh way as they were. Marked as “not good enough” in public by their own company, and I decided to block the company of U-kiss, NH Media out of my world.

Not long ago, U-kiss released released their new single and album Neverland, album cover as seen above, and I was happy to discover that I did not care that much for the single “Neverland”. I listend once or twice and then forgot about it all. The video looked dull and that made me even more happy.

Of different reasons I then, a couple of days ago I took another listen.

I was looking for something new and something fun and also, a new kpop-related acquintance of mine really liked Neverland and some of the other tracks on the album. U-kiss was just the obvious choice.

As a matter of fact, Kevin has never ever been this good, never sounded or looked better as he does in Neverland. Soohyun and Kiseop have both improved greatly, and the new guys (at least AJ) are not bad. I really like Dongho, but he is not possible to compare to the others, he is a star even if he just stands there, and he does not really fit with the others. Eli… they clearly removed the wrong rapper.

But seriously, this is Kevins moment, and in some ways I can really only accept this album because of him. He deserves all the support and all the credit, he has been killing the members in both Xing and U-kiss for many years  with his incredible talent.

Neverland MV has both it’s qualities and it’s down sides. The dance is amazing (Kevin again, dancing better then exactly everyone, watch dance version at 2:23, centre stage. omfg.), a crazy ass dance that is probably impossible for most people to even imagine how to perform. The costumes look ok, and better then most U-kiss costumes ever have looked before, if you forgive the momentary relapse with the white ones.

The song itself starts of in a way that I can’t really get used to, but turns into a powerful energetic dance pop track that has got me kind of addicted. On the other hand, the set of this MV is no fun at all, quite ugly at parts and leaves you with the question: Why are they dancing in a freezer? (credits to Julyssa for the wording).

An important lesson when it comes to kpop (for me at least) is also that the third listen to a track could be the difference between hating and, obsession…

This song, number nine on the album is written by AJ & Kiseop and it is perfect, nothing special, just a perfect track that I listen to over and over again.

So with a sense of guilt towards Alexander, my original favourite in the group and the first ever signed member of U-kiss, I kind of have to accept U-kiss back in my life. Hell, I will even by the album since the cover looks amazing.

But let’s all cheer for Alexander and support his comeback! Omg, it could be such a total fail even though he is the best.

/The Future is Idol – “this is my obsession”

Christianity, Kpop and Me

Being a wealthy democracy of the modern world, South Korean citizens have the right to choose their own religious belief, and of course, choose to have none at all if preferred. Half of the South Korean population consider themselves practising a religion, and dominating since the late 1900s is christianity with more then 8.5 million Prostestants and atleast 5,1 million Catholics. In Seoul you can actually find the largest christian congregation on this planet with it’s 800 000 members.

The second largest religion in South Korea, and the largest unitary religious group is the Buddhist, with 11 million active practising members and quite naturally out of Koreas geographical postion, a long history within the country. There is also a hundred thousand practisers or so each of the indigenous Won-buddhism and the moral code of Confusanism. Personally, I was a bit disappointed after discovering that the very uniqe inidgenous mixed faith of Chondogyo only has about 50 thousand followers, it is far to interesting for an amount that small.

In Sweden and Stockholm, I discover through my every day work with eduaction that religion is still a strong force within many groups, for both indigenous and immigrant swedes. Modern Sweden though, is commonly described as a none-religious society with little connection to the old Protestant church that dominated Sweden for 500 years, after kicking out the Catholics. The traces of religion can still be found everywere in holidays and also in the way people think, I believe. But then again, the connection to religion is not made directly and most importantly, many swedes proudly consider themselves secular, in a world that in so many places is full of prejudice and conflicts connected to religious belief.

I was also brought up in this consensus, religion being nothing more then the traditions from the past. Only attending church with my family, who was not in any way connected to a church, at funerals, weddings and perhaps a graduation ceremony.

On the other hand, in my early teens, as many others in that age, I started to search for some kind of philisophy to put my trust and hopes , and if you want to – my beliefs in. The road to christianity was not that difficult to take. I was baptized as a small child(tradition) and it was quite popular to go through the rituals of confirmation as a 14 year old, more of a get together for horny teens then an important step into the christian world, but actually showing the way to a modern version of religion. Also, just one generation beyond my parents, religion was still very much alive for some of my relatives. Somewhere down this road and with extensive bible reading, I found my own and very personal version of the christian protestant belief. A belief that I now find myself to have kept for almost 15 years. It is not a constant though, I’ve hesitated more times then I can count to, and I do see all the bad things that was created in the name of religions easier then ever before. But it won’t go away still and religious belief is not supposed to be easy. To acknowledge all the bad things within the religion, be humble about it and work for change was always how, as I saw it, I wanted it to work.

When I walked into the world of Kpop, I discovered quite quickly that the idols, some of them, had a very christian view on life. With this belief comes quite often a set of morals, values that is said to reflect the religion. To be a good christian means much to many with a strong belief, even though it really does not mean anything in particular. Sadly, this strong belief and the idea of being a good christian often collides with the world of today and values I personally feel strongly for, the right to abortion and the right to love who ever you choose what ever the sex are both examples of these values.

As written above, South Korea has a large group of christian practicers, and when a religion is new and on the rise it tends to be quite literal, not at all reinterpreted, progressive and modern as I imagine my own personal christian belief to be.

This is clearly showing within the Kpop-industry from time to time. When asked in an interview how the idol feels about same sex love, you could easily get the reaction of it being completly wrong and un-natural. The first time I experienced this reaction of disgust, I really did not know how to deal with it, except getting angry of course. And yet I have a very hard time just letting this pass. But I refuse to see it as just a cultural Korean opinion, but rather as the outcome of the huge impact christianity have had over the South Korean society over the last five decades.

A couple of idols that I’ve put a lot of time and effort into have a very strong christian conviction and it shows in their tweets and in the way the deal with hardships of life. As the natural disaster hit Japan this spring, both Alexander of U-kiss and Siwon of SuJu, the idols I’m talking of right now, wanted us all to pray for the japanese people and to put our trust in God. Both Siwon, and now Alexander is a part of the musical project 3rd Wave. A Christian musical project that gives it’s profit to charity and project that Alexander could  be a part of after U-kiss.

It is of course nice of Siwon and Alexander to put their mind and thought into tragic events, it could absolutely be described as being a good christian, but also as just being humane. To send your thoughts to a nation wrecked by disaster is hopefully not connected to one religion. I wonder how Alexander who quite often retweet words from Joel Osteen, the american televangelist think when it comes to this?

Joel Osteen is someone who has a view of life and on christianity that I probably do not share in any aspect. I wonder how the preachings from this american pastor is received by Alexander, one of my all time favourite idols. Will Siwon and Alexander talk about the latest televised sermon from pastor Osteen when they meet on Sundays at church, and then switch over to discussing excercise and appearances on musical shows?

How do these idols think when it comes to christianity and homosexuality? They work in the world of showbiz and there must be lots af gay people around.

The reason for asking myself this question is that Siwon has worked with fan-service for his entire carrieer and is adored by fans for acting like Prince charming towards  – his male colleagues. There are hundreds of fancams of him kissing the other members in SuJu at performances. SiChul is my very favourite fanfic and fan-service couple and wether or not Siwon and Heechul ever is getting it on, I do belive they do from time to time, Siwon must be fully aware of how much this semi gay approach is building his popularity. Is it working well with his born again christian mentality? A fun fact is that Heechul, an outspoken atheist and also a friend of Siwon, is not Siwons friend on twitter, but with the rest of SuJu.

When it comes to Alexander, I don’t believe that he is absolutely certain about his sexual agenda, but then again who is? I just don’t want him miss out on love or sex just because his religious belief tells him to. I don’t want him to be locked into a bubble of already given ideas and miss out on what the world could offer him.  I don’t want him to devote his life to Christian music, when this is one of the worst modern genres I know.

As a young and Christian man in the western world, I prefer when people are less secure about their religious beliefs, and don’t tweet that much about it.

/The Future is Idol

Alexander and Sweden(A-teens)

Hah!

Today, Alexander tweeted about eating (no surprise there since he always talks about food). He said that he was in a sugar rush and then referred to a track by old swedish idol group A-teens:

alexander_0729: Had a sudden strong crave for sweet dessert… so I got those yummy cakes!♥ But now I’m having my ″Sugar Rush″~♪(A-Teens) (=

He meant this track:

He then continued:

alexander_0729: Oh! I so wanna share a song I LOVED since middle school~ It’s like the feeling between my fans (yes you!) & I~ Promise me not to shiver OK!?

alexander_0729: Close ur eyes, imagine it’s a story between you & I… ″Don’t Even Know Your Name″ (A★Teens) Wt’s ur name baby? *shiver*

alexander_0729: Yup! I listen to 90’s songs n I was a fan of A*Teens~ 😛 Come on… I’m 88!!! (=v=;)

I was never a fan of A-teens, perhaps a bit to old when they became popular, Alexander is six years younger then me and was probably in the perfect age group for A-teens back in the days. And also, back then, I never listened to this kind of music, it was way to lame for me. But as I come from Sweden, just as A-teens, I find it really funny that Alexander Eusebio, somewhere on the other side of the world was listening to music from Sweden as he grew up, and that now, people from Sweden listens to him. I like this, not so uniqe, but funny perspective.

Alexander said in his tweet that he was listening to 90s music, and perhaps “Don’t even know your name” was realesed in the 90s, but “Sugar Rush” is from 2001. But I understand why he says 90s music, it is something far away in your brain burried with memories of growing up and you think it sounds a bit old when you here it and see it again. So you feel it should be from the 90s, even if it is not. I get that feeling a lot. Not all the MVs and tracks grow old with dignity.

/The Future is Idol

Alexander, still an idol

Soompi made an interview with Alexander Eusebio the other day concerning his up coming work with 3RD Wave Music and their new album. I’m always happy to see Alexander in interviews, especially these  days since I desperately want him to get back on track after getting sacked by NH Media. And, as my friend Elin said in a message a couple of hours ago: How could they do that? Alexander still looks gentle and kind, and he is absolutely crazy. Still the same Alexander, but perhaps a bit more grown up. He says in the interview that he is free now, hopefully that is actually what he feels, but he must be really hurt by what happend to him earlier this spring.

I’ve spent so much time thinking about Alexander, U-Kiss and the idol industry this spring, and I’m as confused as ever before. What do I really think, and how does it make me react? When he tweeted with Dongho the first time after quitting U-Kiss my heart almost fell apart, it was so sad. I don’t know if he keeps in contact with the other members of U-Kiss, except Kibum that is, but he seems to have a nice and supportive family. Waiting to see him on stage soon through 3RD Wave, and then hopefully, after that, on his own or in a new group, since I really do believe that he is the kind of person who makes a nice idol.

/The Future is Idol

U-Kiss, agony and trusting yourself

Today and yesterday, I have been in agony over 0330, the new single and MV from U-Kiss. Close friends of mine told me on Thursday evening that they really liked this song, and maybe they had a bit of a hard time telling me that they did so. This since I’ve been so upset by NH Media dropping Alexander and Kibum. And actually, I felt a little bit hurt when I heard this, that they liked it so much, a feeling that wanished quickly though. You and your friends can not have every thing in common. But I was left with fear, fear of maybe being wrong. Maybe I disliked the new single just because of the member change and nothing else?

So yesterday after work, I listened to 0330 over and over again, to see if there was something I missed out on when I first heard the song and first saw the video.

The MV looks great, the guys are all dressed better then ever, the production seems really expensive, but still, I don’t like it. As I said earlier, it wouldn’t surprise me if U-Kiss actually won something for the first time with this new single, but that doesn’t matter, I still don’t get the song.

Now you might think, ok, maybe he is not the ballad kind of guy, he probably only likes the electro pop songs of the Kpop scene? But this is not true, I have a really soft spot for great and smooth ballads, wether it’s DBSK, Hwangbo, Super Junior or SHINee etc. It might not be my favourite genre and I never understood SM the Ballad, but no one else did that either. So no, it is not because of the song due to it being a ballad and it is not because of the MV looking bad, since it isn’t.

I just don’t get this song, and do not like it.

Of what reason, I don’t know, probably it is all of this mixed in a bowl. But as I’ve also written earlier, one problem is the fact that I really in the first place is a fan of Alexander Eusebio and him being a part of an idol group and not of U-Kiss. And every time U-Kiss released something new, it was never the single I liked the most but rather some other track on the album.

Maybe there will be a day when I look back and read this with a changed mind, but at the moment I have to trust myself and see that Bran New KISS is not the mini album for me and not for Alexander. But that is ok really, even though a bit sad.

Below, two examples of ballads that I really like:

and

Ballads all over the place.

/The Future is Idol

WTF. NH Media, is this it?

The mini album Bran New KISS from U-Kiss was released today, and when I finaly got home I actually sat down to listen to it, with a bit of pain in my heart. If you ever visited this blog before you know how hard it’s been for me to accept the way NH Media handled their idols over this last month. The company NH Media said that they wanted to make changes in U-Kiss and fired Alexander and Kibum. Also, Alexander just happend to be one of the reasons for me to like U-Kiss aso it hurt even more because of this but I felt that NH Media treated the two members and the rest of the group in a really bad way. To say out open that idols lack in skills, is not the most clever thing you could do to keep your fans supporting. And it’s agianst every aspect of politeness.

Anyway, the new mini album is here, two new members joined. And the result… IT SOUNDS EXACTLY like it did a couple of months ago with the old settings of members, but with out a hit song. So the big change is? Seriously, i was a bit afraid since I actually thought for a while that they would be back with something incredible, but this is not incredible, this is U-Kiss ordinaire. And the member change was to do what?

Hah, with me being this upset it wouldn’t surprise me if they for the first time would actually win something…

Disappointed but happy/The Future is Idol

About being a fanboy pt. 2, a month went by.

One month has now passed since I started this blog, clearly it was a really good decision to do so.

To be a fan of something is to create a bubble of life for yourself, and perhaps a few others. It is as close to magic you probably ever will get. But you will still have an outside world to deal with and to live in. Jobs, schools and friendship does not go away when you loose yourself in fandom, these things are still there at the end of the day. On the same time, you know that very few people around you will understand this magic. Because this kind of fandom, whatever it may concern, as intense as it is, not the easiest thing to go through and to handle.

I am a grown man in many aspects. I’ve gone through school, university and relationships. I have a job and live on my own since quite a few years. But if i look back ten years in time, I find myself in the middle of my High School years, and surprisingly, with the same dreamy mindset as I have now. The biggest difference is the fact that I get to do the decision making on my own and that I have more responsibilities now. I also discovered that all of this works great together for me, it gives my life more dimensions with every year. I want this.

After starting up this blog, so many things had to be dealt with in my head. To write posts here is not just fun, I mean its a great joy, but also a lot of hard work, and a great deal of soul searching. Through out the blog posts I have to deal with the ambivalence of my own fandom. To write about SNSD as loving their songs and their MVs but still be a feminist with a critical view of a world full of sexism, how can I explain it? Still there are no real answers, but the fact that I try to deal with this is important enough for me.

To share my thoughts upon this i also important. It is actually easier to explain what I love and have problems with once through text rather then doing the explenations over and over in front of friends that stands outside of this bubble, but I desperatly want to include in some ways. I want all the people close to me to understand my intense fandom for pop culture, Kpop and the idol industry. But I also know that I can’t demand that every one understands. How to get arround this problem I don’t know.

My parents both started subscribing to this blog a couple of days ago, maybe and hopefully they will get a feeling of what I’m interested in, and what I find fascinating. Not that I expect them to love the music or the industry behind it, but to be able to understand their son a bit more and to bring us even closer to each other. Also I am happy to discover that friends of mine read my posts, not all of them all the time but once in a while, which I’m truly greatful for. Perhaps this can bring us closer as well.

So, one month went by, many hundreds of people read what I wrote, which amazes me, and some even came back here over and over again. There is still so much more to write about concerning SNSD, Alexander Eusebio, 4Minute, KARA, Key, being a fanboy, the idol industry and everything related. Also, Mis will be back with more thoughts on ethics and being a fangirl. We hope that you will come back here again to share our words and feelings.

/The Future is Idol